You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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