There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
