I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
