Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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