Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize