therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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