wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I supernannyed him into submission
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
