remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
