just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
