It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Congratulations! We have a period
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
