I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
