You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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