i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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