So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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