my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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