didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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