The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
