the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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