Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
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I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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