Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize