Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
