I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
