i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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