If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize