I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
