this just has baby written all over it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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