Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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