In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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