You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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