You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
