i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize