I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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