Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize