So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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