i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
