Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
