how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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