question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
