Me. At least after what I've been through.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
