I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
