I can tuck mytits in my pants
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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