i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
