when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
