I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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