why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
