I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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