moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
