Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
