So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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