went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
