I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
