There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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