I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
