Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
