Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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