You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
