i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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