i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
