I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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