Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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