you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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