Pants 0. Shit 1.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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