true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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