Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
