bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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