i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
being pregnant is like rehab
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
