Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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