I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sorry my hands just texted you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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