well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
