You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
