can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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