i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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